2 Leadership Essentials to Motivate and Bring Out the Best

On a recent hike with friends I mentioned, "Usually I see 'heart rocks' when I am walking, but I haven't been paying attention today." No sooner had those words left my mouth, when we all noticed a heart-shaped rock on the trail ahead.Today I set my attention on finding heart rocks. I saw at least 10.What we pay attention to, we amplify. Our focus shifts and we begin to see what was there all along, while our attention was elsewhere.Have you ever had the experience of something (a word, a concept, a brand ...) brought to your attention, and immediately you notice it everywhere? Did you wonder whether it was synchronicity? Perhaps something you were unaware of before is now in your field of vision?There are Two Essential Ways of Being for leaders that motivate their followers, help bring out their best and help them see beyond what they think is possible:

1. Pay attention to your seeing. What you focus on, you amplify.

• Where is your focus of attention? Is it on problems, what's wrong, what's not working ... do you easily find fault with others?
• If we focus on problems, what's not working or someone's annoying character traits--that is what we see and we often see it to the exclusion of other things. We see more problems, more of the character traits we expect, more ...
• Problems start to grow

A StorySeveral years ago, I lead a meeting to improve the interactions, information and patient flow and overall processes between in-patient and out-patient OBGyn and Maternity.The group began to identify all of the ways the processes didn't work, all of the problems, patient complaints, MD complaints, and on ... until someone finally said, "What are we doing?" Great question.The group vitality and energy had been sucked right out of the room. We created a list of problems and issues vast enough to overwhelm the best of us.In a moment of inspiration, I restarted the conversation by asking, "If you could create your ideal department with smooth transitions, rewarding interactions, satisfied members, patients and physicians and you were highly motivated and happy at work, what would would be going on? What would you see, do, hear; what would be in place in terms of process and flow?"The group energy soared! The wall was full of sticky notes. Ideas and associated actions to further develop the ideas, had been generated. When the meeting ended, we were poised to join the physicians the next day and build on the work we did together. As we began to leave the room, someone turned to me and said, "What did you just do?"2. People live up (or down) to your expectations of them.

• This goes for how leaders act toward and view others as well as how others act toward and view people in positions of authority. Remember the Pygmalion Effect?

In their study, Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968) set out to demonstrate that our reality can be influenced by other's expectations and set up self-fulfilling prophecies. Their research demonstrated that if teachers expected a higher performance from some children rather than others, those children did, in fact rise to their expectations. Rosenthal identified four ways teachers behaved differently towards the students for whom they had more favorable expectations:

• They created a warmer climate. They are nicer in the things they say and also in the non-verbal channels of communication
• Input. They teach more material to students for whom they have more favorable expectations
• Response / Opportunity. They call on these students more often and let them talk longer. The teachers help and shape the responses with them and help the student articulate the response.
• Feedback. If more is expected of a student, the student is praised more for giving a "good answer." These students receive more positive feedback. Interestingly, the teacher will accept a lower quality response from these students.

It doesn't take much to contextualize these four behaviors in a business setting. Remember times when you've seen this play out in team meetings or by those in leadership? Who is (are) the favorite(s)? Who did you favor? What was the effect on you if you were favored or not?

Leader beware: In 1979, Feldman and Prohaska wanted to test the reverse--could a student's expectation about the competence of a teacher's performance bring about the expected behavior?

In fact, the study found that, "there were significant effects on teachers' attitudes and behavior." What goes around, comes around.

Now let's connect these two human tendencies and see how we can shift our focus and actions:

• Pay attention to your seeing. What you focus on, you amplify.
• People live up (or down) to your expectations of them.

Suggestion: Seek out the best in others and give feedback accordingly. Dr Lois P. Frankel, author of See Jane Lead, wrote about the 7:1 rule:

Give people seven pieces of positive feedback for every developmental criticism.

Most of us avoid giving developmental criticism and when we finally do, it is unplanned and ends up coming out as sharp, blunt or abrupt. OR we give feedback without specific suggestions or an offer of assistance to develop the desired behavior. OR we behave in ways that let people know we disapprove or are dissatisfied, and then leave them guessing.From personal experience, it feels so delicious and rewarding when I offer positive, authentic feedback. I found this to be largely true for both for the giver and the recipient. You are in essence, filling up their tank with jet fuel when the recipient feels seen and valued.Experiment: Look for the inherent gifts, the positive in someone who pushes your buttons, someone you don't like, someone who you believe is a low performer. Then give authentic, positive feedback to that person. Notice how you feel and how that person responds. See what happens over time.Do you treat certain people differentially in meetings? What can you do to shift that? See what happens when you do?

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So what is in your line of sight? What are you paying attention to? Shift your focus and see what happens. On your next outing, look for hearts in nature. You don't have to search, just pay attention. You'll see ...