Enneagram Type 2: An Inspirational Journey
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"There is nothing so clarifying as a life threatening diagnosis to get your priorities straight," Marina told me as she marshaled her energy to focus on options and next steps.You see, Marina was diagnosed with stage four cancer six months ago. Within a week of her diagnosis, she went through intensive chemotherapy treatments only to find out much later that it was a shot in the dark ... an experiment to see if it would work to slow down or stop the growth of her cancer.Results came in like a punch in the stomach -- the cancer had progressed in spite of the chemo.As I understand it, there are three main determinants of disease; the first is a genetic predisposition, the next is environmental factors (what you eat, drink, what you're exposed to) and the last is your beliefs, psychology, emotional state, stress.
We can have a genetic predisposition, but these other factors are what influence whether our genes are activated.
While attacking the disease with Western Medical protocols and change of diet, Marina chose to confront her cancer and face herself squarely. She decided to look within at how she may have contributed to bringing on her disease and what she could do to help herself heal.Marina recounted her process with me, "I was faced with this question:"
'What is the payoff for me? What do I get out of being ill?'
"I was so angry that the workshop leader suggested I (we) may actually benefit from being ill. When I felt my strong resistance, I knew there was something for me to explore so I went for it."As Marina began to write in her journal the pen swept over the paper with increasing velocity. Without effort, Marina managed to write two full pages dedicated to the various ways she derived benefit from being ill.Key things from her list. Permission to say "no" to:
request for help
receiving help
sign on for a project
join a board
extract herself from boards and other activities
take leave from family and friends when she wants time alone
take time for herself
take time away from her computer and let emails sit in her inbox
slow down and reduce her activity level (which has always been quite high)
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In essence, to consider herself first. Marina smiled, "I have an excuse to take care of myself; to be fully 'me' without apology."Marina self-identifies as a Type 2on the Enneagram.EnneagramType 2 is known as the People Pleaser, the Helper, the Giver ...Their identity is wrapped up in this role they play:"I'm the good person. My role is to give and to help. Therefore I don't receive or ask for help. I pretend I don't have needs, but secretly I hope you'll see that I do. I take care of people. I can anticipate your needs. You need me. I expect to be appreciated. I must earn love and appreciation."This comes at the expense of their own self-regard and self-care. The belief is that:
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If I please others; take care of others, if I am a giving and loving person I will be worthy of love.
As she started to take care of herself and to allow others to give to her, Marina's true self began to shine through. She was surprised and delighted to share, "People are drawn to me. They want to be around me. They appreciate my authenticity."Opportunities for self-care and to receive help and support from others is ongoing. She laughs every time she realizes she's stepped into her old ways, and then course corrects. Marina continues to notice how her pattern as the giver has played out throughout her life.Despite her initial reluctance, friends have set up a bank account to receive donations for Marina to get care through a well-respected complementary medical clinic. She continues to courageously face her challenges to heal on all fronts: physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually.Healing can take place when Type 2 is able to give freely without expectation, to receive from others (pride is not in the way) and to source self-love; when Type 2 declares "I am worthy of love because of who I be."